Pls Help, We’re Stuck Trying To Write Our Vows

Hi Sweethearts. So exciting!!!

Okay so firstly, you do not need to have personalised vows if you don't want them. You can say the legal vows (a grand total of 21 words) and be done with it. However, adding in personal vows brings so much depth and meaning to a ceremony. It’s also the part of the ceremony where you are most likely to make your guests cry from all the feels, which is truly a very beautiful thing.

Here are my tips to vow writing. If you get stuck, of course ring/text/email me and we can work on it together!

1 - Agree with your partner on a basic length and form.
A good rule of thumb is 2 or 3 short statements and 5 vows/promises to make to each other.

The short statement can refer to what you love about your partner, and why you love your partner. What you’re most looking forward to about marriage/the next chapter of your lives, etc.

The vows/promises to make to each other can be a mix of sincere and funny, really whatever speaks to you as a couple. i.e:

‘I promise to always bring you a cup of tea in bed every morning’

‘I vow to accept you completely, through your best days, of which there are many, and your very rare not best days. Every day with you is a gift.’

‘I vow to love you unconditionally. To be there for you in any capacity that you need, to laugh with you, to cry with you, to travel with you, to watch incredibly awful tv with you, through it all, I vow to just be with you.’

2 - Vows are for your partner, and your partner only. Sure everyone gets to hear them during your ceremony, but when you are writing your vows, don’t write for the room, write for your partner. Think about what you love the most about your partner, what marriage means to you, and what you are promising them for your future together.

3 - It’s not a love letter or a grand sweeping statement. Think of your vows as a set of promises that you and your partner are making to each other, that honour your past and look to your future as a married couple.

If I’m your wedding celebrant, I’ll ask you to send me your vows separately a few weeks out from your wedding. (Assuming you’d like to keep them a surprise to each other!) I’ll read over them and check that the tone and length of your vows are complementary, and that what you’ve written is on the same page as your partner. I can provide feedback if you’d like some. I will also print your vows and bring them on the day, giving you one less thing to have to remember!

PS - if you get really stuck writing your vows, I can happily send you some examples to get the inspiration flowing. I find wine always helps too.